Wednesday, September 30, 2009

ROH Star Ratings List

All ratings were taken from Dave Meltzer's "Wrestling Observer Newsletter". The dates listed are, unless otherwise noted, the dates on which the matches occurred.

Please visit http://www.wrestlingobserver.com for more information on the Wrestling Observer Newsletter.

2002

2/23/02 American Dragon vs. Low Ki vs. Christopher Daniels ****1/2
4/27/02 Low Ki vs. AJ Styles ****1/2

2004

6/12/04 Samoa Joe vs. CM Punk ****1/4
8/7/04 Bryan Danielson vs. Austin Aries (2 out of 3 Falls) ***1/2
10/2/04 Samoa Joe vs. Bryan Danielson ****
10/16/04 Samoa Joe vs. CM Punk *****
12/4/04 Samoa Joe vs. CM Punk ****1/4
12/26/04 Samoa Joe vs. Austin Aries ****1/4

2005

1/15/05 Samoa Joe vs. Nigel McGuinness ***1/2
1/15/05 Homicide vs. Bryan Danielson (Tap Out) ****
1/15/05 Austin Aries vs. Colt Cabana ***3/4
6/18/05 Austin Aries vs. CM Punk ****1/2
10/1/05 Samoa Joe vs. Kenta Kobashi *****
10/2/05 Roderick Strong vs. James Gibson ****
10/2/05 Homicide/Kenta Kobashi vs. Low Ki/Samoa Joe "well above ****"
12/17/05 Bryan Danielson vs. Naomichi Marufuji ***3/4
12/17/05 KENTA vs. Low Ki ****1/2

2006

3/31/06 Cima/Naruki Doi/Masato Yoshino vs. Genki Horiguchi/Ryo Saito/Dragon Kid *****
3/31/06 Bryan Danielson vs. Roderick Strong ****1/4
8/05/06 Bryan Danielson vs. Samoa Joe ****1/4
8/12/06 Bryan Danielson vs. Nigel McGuinness ****3/4
9/16/06 Samoe Joe/Homicide vs. Jay Briscoe/Mark Briscoe ***1/2
9/16/06 Naomichi Marufuji vs. Nigel McGuinness ****
9/16/06 Bryan Danielson vs. KENTA ****3/4
12/23/06 Bryan Danielson vs. Homicide "****1/4 if not better"

2007

2/16/2007 Samoa Joe vs. Takeshi Morishima ****1/2
5/12/2007 Naomichi Marufuji vs. Rocky Romero ***3/4
5/12/2007 Jay Briscoe/Mark Briscoe vs. Matt Sydal/Claudio Castagnoli ****1/4
5/12/2007 Delirious vs. Roderick Strong ***1/4
5/12/2007 Takeshi Morishima/Bryan Danielson vs. Nigel McGuinness/KENTA ****
6/9/07 Nigel McGuinness vs. Bryan Danielson ****1/2
6/23/07 Erik Stevens/Matt Cross/Delirious vs. Roderick Strong/Davey Richards/Rocky Romero ***3/4
6/23/07 Claudio Castagnoli vs. Matt Sydal ***1/4
6/23/07 Naomichi Marufuji vs. BJ Whitmer ***
6/23/07 Mark Briscoe/Jay Briscoe vs. El Generico/Kevin Steen ***3/4
8/25/07 Takeshi Morishima vs. Bryan Danielson ****3/4
9/15/07 Claudio Castagnoli vs. Naomichi Marufuji vs. Nigel McGuinness vs. Chris Hero ***3/4
9/15/07 Austin Aries vs. Davey Richards ***1/2
9/15/07 Roderick Strong vs. Erik Stevens ***1/2
9/15/07 Takeshi Morishima vs. Bryan Danielson ****1/4
10/6/07 Delirious/Kevin Steen/El Generico vs. Adam Pearce/Brent Albright/BJ Whitmer ***
10/6/07 Austin Aries vs. Roderick Strong ****1/4
10/6/07 Takeshi Morishima vs. Nigel McGuinness ***3/4
11/30/07 Jay Briscoe/Mark Briscoe vs. Davey Richards/Rockey Romero ***3/4
12/29/07 Kevin Steen/El Generico vs. BJ Whitmer/Adam Pearce vs. Jack Evans/Ruckus vs. Jimmy Jacobs/Tyler Black (Tag Team Scramble) ***1/4
12/29/07 Claudio Castagnoli vs. Chris Hero ***
12/29/07 Bryan Danielson vs. Takeshi Morishima (Relaxed Rules) ***1/2
12/29/07 Mark Briscoe/Jay Briscoe vs. Rockey Romero/Roderick Strong ***1/4
12/29/07 Nigel McGuinness vs. Austin Aries ****3/4
3/16/08 Austin Aries vs. Bryan Danielson ****
3/16/08 Nigel McGuinness vs. Tyler Black ****1/2
6/7/08 Kevin Steen/El Generico vs. Jigsaw/Ruckus ***1/4
6/7/08 Brent Albright/Delirious/Pelle Primeau vs. Chris Hero/Adam Pearce/Eddie Edwards ***1/2
6/7/08 Erick Stevens vs. Roderick Strong (Fight Without Honor) ****1/4
6/7/08 Go Shiozaki vs. Nigel McGuinness ***3/4
6/7/08 Austin Aries/Bryan Danielson vs. Jimmy Jacobs/Tyler Black ****1/4
7/26/08 Naomichi Marufuji/Roderick Strong vs. Chris Hero/Go Shiozaki ***1/4
7/26/08 Bryan Danielson vs. Tyler Black ****1/2
7/26/08 Nigel McGuinness vs. Claudio Castagnoli ***3/4
11/22/08 Chris Hero/Davey Richards/Go Shiozaki vs. Brent Albright/Roderick Strong/Ace Steel ***1/4
11/22/08 Austin Aries vs. Jimmy Jacobs (I Quit) ****1/4
11/22/08 Nigel McGuinness vs. Bryan Danielson ****1/2

2009

9/11/09 Davey Richards/Eddie Edwards vs. Nick Jackson/Matt Jackson ****1/2

2010

4/3/10 Davey Richards vs. Kenny King "Probably ***3/4"
4/3/10 Chris Hero/Claudio Castagnoli vs. Jay Briscoe/Mark Brisco "not far behind ****1/2"
4/3/10 Tyler Black vs. Austin Aries vs. Roderick Strong "in the ****1/2 range"
6/19/10 Tyler Black vs. Davey Richards "probably in the ****3/4 range"
9/11/10 Christopher Daniels vs. Austin Aries ***1/2
9/11/10 Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Hero/Claudio Castagnoli "probably in the ****1/4 range"
12/18/10 Kenny King/Rhett Titus vs. Kyle O'Reilly/Adam Cole ***
12/18/10 Eddie Edwards vs. Sonjay Dutt ***1/4
12/18/10 Mark Briscoe/Jay Briscoe/Mike Briscoe vs. Chris Hero/Claudio Castagnoli/Shane Hagadorn ***1/2
12/18/10 Davey Richards vs. Roderick Strong ****1/4
12/18/10 El Generico vs. Kevin Steen (Lights Out/Mask vs. Loser Leaves Town) ****1/4

2011

6/26/11 El Generico vs. Christopher Daniels "in the ***? star range"
6/26/11 Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin vs. Jay Briscoe/Mark Briscoe vs. Chris Hero/Claudia Castagnoli vs. Rhett Titus/Kenny King "probably a ****1/4 match"
6/26/11 Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards ****3/4
9/17/11 Nick Jackson/Matt Jackson vs. Kyle O'Reilly/Adam Cole vs. Harlem Bravado/Lance Bravado ***1/2
9/17/11 Charlie Haas vs. Michael Elgin ***
9/17/11 Roderick Strong vs. Eddy Edwards (2 out of 3 Falls) ****1/4
9/17/11 Rhett Titus/Kenny King vs. Jay Briscoe/Mark Briscoe (Ladder War) ****
8/13/11 Davey Richards vs. Roderick Strong ***3/4
12/23/11 Jay Lethal vs. Mike Bennett vs. El Generico (Elimination) ***1/4
12/23/11 Kevin Steen vs. Steve Corino ***3/4
12/23/11 Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin vs. Jay Briscoe/Mark Briscoe ***1/4
12/23/11 Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards ****

2012

3/4/12 Roderick Strong/Michael Elgin vs. TJ Perkins/Amazing Red ***
3/4/12 Jay Lethal vs. Tomasso Ciampa ***1/4
3/4/12 Mark Briscoe/Jay Briscoe vs. Nick Jackson/Matt Jackson ***
3/4/12 Kevin Steen vs. Jimmy Jacobs (No Disqualification) ***1/4
3/4/12 Davey Richards/Kyle O'Reilly vs. Adam Cole/Eddie Edwards ***3/4
3/30/12 Lance Storm vs. Mike Bennett "a minimum ***1/2"
3/30/12 Kevin Steen vs. El Generico (Last Man Standing) "about ****"
3/30/12 Davey Richards vs. Roderick Strong vs. Eddie Edwards "about ***1/2"
3/31/12 Jimmy Jacobs vs. El Generico ***
3/31/12 Kevin Steen vs. Eddie Edwards ***1/4
3/31/12 Roderick Strong vs. Jay Lethal ***1/4
3/31/12 Davey Richards vs. Michael Elgin *****
6/24/12 Homicide vs. Eddie Edwards ***1/4
6/24/12 Adam Cole vs. Kyle O'Reilly (Hybrid Fighting Rules) ****
6/24/12 Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin vs. Kenny King/Rhett Titus ***
6/24/12 Kevin Steen vs. Davey Richards (Anything Goes) ****
8/11/12  Roderick Strong vs. Mike Mondo ***1/4
8/11/12 Jay Briscoe/Mark Briscoe vs. Jimmy Jacobs/Steve Corino ***
8/11/12 Jay Lethal vs. Tommaso Ciampa (2 out of 3 Falls) ***
8/11/12 Kevin Steen vs. Eddie Kingston (No Disqualification) ***1/2
9/15/12 Adam Cole vs. Mike Mondo ***1/4
9/15/12 Kevin Steen vs. Rhino (Anything Goes) ***1/2
10/13/12 Caprice Coleman/Cedric Alexander vs. Lance Bravado/Harlem Bravado ***
10/13/12 Mike Bennett vs. Mike Mondo ***
10/13/12 Shelton Benjamin/Charlie Haas vs. BJ Whitmer/Rhett Titus ***1/4
10/13/12 Jay Lethal vs. Davey Richards ****1/2
10/13/12 Adam Cole vs. Eddie Edwards ***1/2
10/13/12 Steve Corino/Jimmy Jacobs vs. Jay Briscoe/Mark Briscoe ***1/2
10/13/12 Kevin Steen vs. Michael Elgin ****1/2
12/16/12 Roderick Strong vs. Michael Elgin ***1/4
12/16/12 Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin vs. Rhett Titus/BJ Whitmer (New York Street Fight) ***1/2
12/16/12 Eddie Edwards/Davey Richards vs. Bobby Fish/Kyle O'Reilly ***1/2
12/16/12 Adam Cole vs. Matt Hardy ***1/4
12/16/12 Kevin Steen vs. El Generico (Ladder) ****

2013

3/2/13 Tadarius Thomas vs. Q.T. Marshall vs. Mike Sydal vs. ACH vs. Adam Page vs. Silas Young ***1/2
3/2/13 Jimmy Jacobs/Steve Corino vs. Caprice Coleman/Cedric Alexander ***1/4
3/2/13 BJ Whitmer vs. Charlie Haas ***3/4
3/2/13 Davey Richards/Eddie Edwards vs. Alex Koslov/Rocky Romero ****1/4
3/2/13 Michael Elgin vs. Roderick Strong (2/3 Falls) ***1/4
3/2/13 Matt Taven vs. Adam Cole ***1/4
3/2/13 Bobby Fish/Kyle O'Reilly vs. Jay Briscoe/Mark Briscoe ****
3/2/13 Kevin Steen vs. Jay Lethal ****
4/5/13 Tadarius Thomas/ACH vs. QT Marshall/RD Evans ***
4/5/13 Jay Lethal vs. Michael Elgin ****
4/5/13 Caprice Coleman/Cedric Alexander/Mike Mondo/BJ Whitmer/Mark Briscoe vs. Rhett Titus/Rhino/Jimmy Rave/Jimmy Jacobs/Cliff Compton ***1/2
4/5/13 Karl Anderson vs. Roderick Strong ***1/2
4/5/13 Bobby Fish/Kyle O'Reilly vs. Eddie Edwards/Davey Richards ****1/2
4/5/13 Kevin Steen vs. Jay Briscoe ***1/2
5/4/13 Eddie Edwards vs. Taiji Ishimori ***1/2
5/4/13 Paul London vs. Davey Richards ***1/4
5/4/13 Jay Briscoe vs. Adam Cole ***
6/22/13 Eddie Edwards/Davey Richards vs. ACH/Tadarius Thomas ***1/4
6/22/13 Adam Cole vs. Roderick Strong ***1/4
6/22/13 Michael Elgin vs. Tomasso Ciampa ***3/4
6/22/13 Matt Taven vs. Jay Lethal vs. Jimmy Jacobs ***
6/22/13 Kevin Steen vs. Matt Hardy (No Disqualification) ***1/4
6/22/13 Jay Briscoe vs. Mark Briscoe ***
9/20/13 Rocky Romero/Alex Koslov vs. Eddie Edwards/Davey Richards "in the ***1/2 range"
5/10/14  Mark Briscoe/Jay Briscoe vs. Jimmy Jacobs/BJ Whitmer vs. Bobby Fish/Kyle O'Reilly ***1/4
5/10/14 Cedric Alexander vs. Roderick Strong ***1/2
5/10/14 Nick Jackson/Matt Jackson vs. Rocky Romero/Alex Koslov vs. Alex Shelley/Kushida ****1/2
5/10/14 Hiroshi Tanahashi/Jushin Liger vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Jado ***1/4
5/10/14 Jay Letha vs. Tomasso Ciampa vs. Matt Taven vs. Silas Young ***1/4
5/10/14 AJ Styles/Karl Anderson vs. Kazuchika Okada/Gedo
5/10/14 Adam Cole vs. Kevin Steen ****1/4
5/17/14 Jay Lethal vs. Kushida ***1/2
5/17/14 Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Kevin Steen ***3/4
5/17/14 Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Michael Bennett ***
5/17/14 Nick Jackson/Matt Jackson vs. Bobby Fish/Kyle O'Reilly ****1/4
5/17/14 Adam Cole vs. Jushin Liger ***1/2
5/17/14 AJ Styles vs. Michael Elgin vs. Kazuchika Okada ****
6/22/14 ACH vs. BJ Whitmer vs. Tommaso Ciampa vs. Takaki Watanabe vs. Tadarius Thomas vs. Caprice Coleman ***1/2
6/22/14 Jay Lethal vs. Matt Taven ***
6/22/14 Cedric Alexander vs. Roderick Strong (Submission Match) ***
6/22/14 Mark Briscoe/Jay Briscoe vs. Matt Hardy/Michael Bennett (No DQ) ***3/4
6/22/14 Kevin Steen vs. Silas Young ***
6/22/14 Bobby Fish/Kyle O'Reilly vs. Christopher Daniels/Frankie Kazarian ***1/2
6/22/14 Adam Cole vs. Michael Elgin ****
9/6/14 Mark Briscoe vs. Hanson ***
9/6/14 Adam Cole vs. AJ Styles ****1/4
9/6/14 Jay Lethal vs. Cedric Alexander ***
9/6/14 Jay Briscoe vs. Michael Elgin ***1/2
9/6/14 Kyle O'Reilly/Bobby Fish vs. Nick Jackson/Matt Jackson (Two out of Three Falls) ****1/4
12/7/14 Nick Jackson/Matt Jackson/ACH vs. Christopher Daniels/Frankie Kazarian/Cedric Alexander ****1/4
12/7/14 Jay Lethal vs. Matt Sydal ***1/4
12/7/14 Kyle O'Reilly/Bobby Fish vs. Alex Shelley/Kushida ****1/4
12/7/14 Jay Briscoe vs. Adam Cole ****

2015

3/1/15 Matt Sydal vs. Cedric Alexander
3/1/15 Matt Taven/Michael Bennett vs. Christopher Daniels/Frankie Kazarian vs. Karl Anderson ***
3/1/15 AJ Styles vs. ACH ***1/2
3/1/15 Bobby Fish/Kyle O'Reilly vs. Nick Jackson/Matt Jackson ****1/4
3/1/15 Jay Lethal vs. Alberto El Patron ***1/2
3/27/15 Marc Briscoe vs. ACH ***1/2
3/27/15 Michael Elgin vs. Frankie Kazarian ***1/4
3/27/15 Matt Sydan vs. Caprice Coleman vs. Cedric Alexander vs. Moose vs. Tommaso Ciampa vs. Andrew Everett ****
3/27/15 Roderick Strong vs. Christopher Daniels ***3/4
3/27/15 Bobby Fish/Kyle O'Reilly vs. Michael Bennett/Matt Taven ***3/4
3/27/15 Jay Lethal vs. Jushin Liger ***1/2
3/27/15 Jay Briscoe vs. Samoa Joe ***1/2
5/15/15 Kushida vs. Kyle O'Reilly vs. Chris Sabin ***1/4
5/15/15 Matt Taven/Michael Bennett vs. Jushin Liger/Matt Sydal ***
5/15/15 Kazhuchika Oka vs. Cedric Alexander ***1/2
5/15/15 Christopher Daniels/Kazarian vs. BJ Whitmer/Adam Page vs. Rocky Romero/Trent Baretta ***1/4
5/15/15 Shinsuke Nakamura vs. ACH ***1/2
5/15/15 Jay Lethal vs. Tetsuya Naito ***1/2
5/15/15 Hiroshi Tanahashi/Michael Elgin ***1/2
5/15/15 Jay Briscoe/Rowe/Hanson/Roderick Strong/Mark Briscoe vs. AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Doc Gallows/Nick Jackson/Matt Jackson ****1/2
6/19/15 Roderick Strong vs. Moose vs. Michael Elgin ***3/4
6/19/15 AJ Styles/Nick Jackson/Matt Jackson vs. Matt Taven/Michael Bennett/Adam Cole ****1/4
6/19/15 Jay Briscoe vs. Jay Lethal ****1/4
6/24/15 (Air date) AJ Styles/Nick Jackson/Matt Jackson vs. Kazuchika Okada/Rocky Romero/Trent Barreta ****3/4
7/24/15 Mark Briscoe/Jay Briscoe vs. Rocky Romero/Trent Barreta ***1/2
7/24/15 Adam Cole vs. Dalton Castle ***
7/24/15 ACH vs. Adam Page (No DQ) ***
7/24/15 Christopher Daniels/Frankie Kazarian vs. Bobby Fish/Kyle O'Reilly vs. Michael Bennett/Matt Taven vs. Hanson/Rowe ***3/4
7/24/15 Jay Lethal vs. Roderick Strong ****
9/18/15 Jay Lethal vs. Bobby Fish ***
9/18/15 Cedric Alexander vs. Moose (No DQ) ***1/4
9/18/15 ACH vs. Matt Sydal ***
9/18/15 Matt Taven/Michael Bennett vs. Christopher Daniels/Frankie Kazarian vs. Nick Jackson/Matt Jackson ****
9/18/15 AJ Styles vs. Michael Elgin vs. Adam Cole vs. Roderick Strong ***1/2
9/18/15 Jay Lethal vs. Kyle O'Reilly ***1/2

120 comments:

  1. Hi Dave, I don't know if you know, but in Brazil - my hometown - you have much fans, they are people who admire your skills to rate the wrestling matches, and your comments about about wrestling. And I have my own blog (I don't know if I can put here...) www.areyoureadytowrestling.blogspot.com, and we want (table?) to do a little interview with you, some asks for you, do you agree it? Or leave for there, and keep a good job? :p

    Oh, before I forget, why didn't you give five stars to Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels? D: Even Stone Cold agreed with me... (This is a long history)

    If you agree, answer here, and I'll look, because I'm going to visit here everyday now...

    Wathever, thanks to read it. :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, I forgot a thing...

    Are you Meltzer or another person? Whatever, if you aren't Meltzer, can you send it to him? Please!

    Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am not Dave. You can e-mail him at dave@wrestlingobserver.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oops Thank you! Sorry for anything, but anyway, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Can I ask how come theres been no additions to the ROH ratings for 2009 yet?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apparently, 2008 and 2009 are mixed into one year.

      Delete
  6. Because there hasn't been any ROH reviewed in the Observer this year. Bryan has in F4W but I don't think there's been any in the Observer.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Any chance the ratings for Dragon Gate USA (DGUSA) will get their own section now that they've taken over ROH's pay-per-view deal?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Agreed. The first Dragon Gate PPV practically BLED snowflakes.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Can we get some ROH 2009 on here or what??

    ReplyDelete
  10. There hasn't been any ROH rated in the Observer this year.

    To follow up Stubber's question which I intended to answer weeks ago.

    DRAGON GATE~!!!

    BxB Hulk vs. Yamato ****1/4
    Chikara Eight-Man ****
    Dragon Kid vs. Masato Yoshino ***3/4
    The Young Bucks vs. Susumu Yokosuka/CIMA ****1/4
    Naruki Doi vs. Shingo ****1/4

    That's easily the best ratings top to bottom I've ever seen.

    Second show should be reviewed this week or next.

    ReplyDelete
  11. And the second DGUSA show:

    Dragon Kid vs. Masato Yoshino ****1/4
    Yamato & Gran Akuma vs. Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw **1/2
    Naruki Doi vs. Bryan Danielson ****3/4 (tied for highest rated match of the year with Taker/Michaels)
    CIMA vs. Brian Kendrick - N/R (just highlights)
    Davey Richards vs. CIMA ****1/2
    The Young Bucks vs. Ryo Saito & Genki Horiguchi ***1/2

    Not as good top to bottom as the first but two matches that go higher than anything on the first.

    ReplyDelete
  12. What were the full ratings for Glory by Honor V night 2 ppv

    ReplyDelete
  13. That wasn't a PPV and the current archives don't go back that far. I'd say there's a good chance that full show might have been reviewed though.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Looks like Meltzer after ROH got on PPV, Meltzer stopped reviewing ROH events other than the PPVs. And even though they are not on PPV anymore, he's still not reviewing ROH events.

    ReplyDelete
  15. He actually rated the Wolves/Bucks tag match from the 11/23 TV at ****1/2.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I take it he didn't rate the Final Battle online PPV then?

    ReplyDelete
  17. He did a write-up on it but no ratings.

    ReplyDelete
  18. He Should rate Richards vs. Danielson from Final Countdown tour Boston absolutely awesome match

    ReplyDelete
  19. If you're looking for really good ROH reviews, I'd advise you to check out J.D. Dunn who reviews at 411mania.com. He does alll the shows though he sometimes gets a bit behind. Really funny, not so much move-by-move style reviews too.

    ReplyDelete
  20. To respond to the guy that posted the ratings for the Dragon Gate USA: Untouchable show, you got one of the matches wrong, you have CIMA listed twice on that event, once with the highlights of his match with Kendrick and again against Davey Richards, when Richards actually faced Shingo in this match. Thought I'd mention that.

    ReplyDelete
  21. HEY MAN DO YOU KNOW HOW DID MELTZER RATED THE AMERICAN VOLVES VS STENNERICO TABLES MATCH ON HDNET, AND THEIR MATCH IN LADDER WAR II

    ReplyDelete
  22. Has Richards v Aries been rated as well as Aries v Black from the 8th anniversary show?

    ReplyDelete
  23. ROH report for Friday in Phoenix (26/03/2010) (by bryan alvarez):

    " Briscoes beat Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards to retain the tag titles. It was clear the undercard was worked in such a way as to ensure that this match, an old-school style ROH match with a million nearfalls and kickouts, was the show-stealer. And it was. I'd say ****1/4 to ****1/2."

    ReplyDelete
  24. I presume he will be rating the matches from Big Bang iPPV?

    ReplyDelete
  25. He watched it, so hopefully he gives match ratings. He said on Wrestling Observer Live that the triple threat title match was really great, and the ladder match was good, but not great. The lucha match was pretty horrible as well.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hmmm... I was referring to the match between the Briscoes and the Kings of Wrestling, for some reason I thought it was a ladder match. From memory Dave said there were too many dangerous spots for his liking.

    ReplyDelete
  27. there weren't a lot of dangerous spots in the tag title match from Big Bang. You may be thinking of the ladder match between the Briscoes and Steenerico from like 07?

    Have Alvarez and Meltzer reviewed the Big Bang yet?

    ReplyDelete
  28. Yeah, that was the reasoning behind the no rating for the Briscoes/Steenerico was due to him being uncomfortable with some of the ridiculously risky stuff in that.

    As for the iPPV, Bryan did a full review in this week F4W.

    Jack Salvation vs. Phil Shatter *1/2
    Kenny King vs. Davey Richards ***3/4
    The Necro Butcher vs. Erick Stevens *1/2
    Rhett Titus vs. Cassandro el Exotico **1/2
    Colt Cabana & Generico vs. Kevin Steen & Steve Corino **1/4
    The Briscoes vs. The Kings of Wrestling ***3/4
    Tyler Black vs. Austin Aries vs. Roderick Strong ****1/4

    ReplyDelete
  29. Meltzer had technical problems with the show buffering a lot so he didn't feel it was fair to give star ratings but he did say the the three-way was "****1/2 range" and that the tag titles match "probably wasn't far behind". He also said Richards/King was "probably ***3/4".

    ReplyDelete
  30. what did Tyler Black v Austin Aries 8th aniv show get from Meltzer

    ReplyDelete
  31. Tyler Black v Austin Aries was better than taker v michaels. Story was great, wrestling was far superior and the way they got the crowd from hating black to loving him is a masterfully crafted match that has to at least be a ****3/4 match, how was it not rated? it may be moty

    ReplyDelete
  32. It wasn't rated because it wasn't rated. There's been tons of great matches that aren't rated. No big crime.

    ReplyDelete
  33. My concern is that Aries/Black should be touted match of the year so far yet if it isnt even rated i guess that means its not even being considered which is a shame when taker/hbk seem like they may get the nod again for no reason

    ReplyDelete
  34. Considered by who? Meltzer or readers in general? If it's the latter, I don't think there's anything to that concern. If you're considering an indie match MOTY, you're clearly a serious fan who doesn't a ***+ list to help you pick. If it's the former, there's only so many hours in the day. Especially when MMA is outrageously hot.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Dont expect meltzer to review the ROH PPV today I emailed him about it and he said he would have liked to have reviewed it but he was on MMA assignment today and would probably get fired if he skiped out on it.

    ReplyDelete
  36. What were Bryan Alvarez's ratings for the iPPV Death Before Dishonor VIII?

    ReplyDelete
  37. I'd be very surprised if Meltzer didn't rate Black/Richards. It may not be THIS week but considering it's being talked about as a STRONG candidate MOTY and on a MAJOR show that;s non-DVD only I'd expect it.

    Anyways. Chico Alvarez's:

    Death Before Dishonor VIII iPPV
    Kevin Steen vs. El Generico ***3/4
    Rhett Titus & Kenny King vs. Cheech & Cloudy **1/4
    Aust Aries vs. Delirious **1/2
    Toronto Gauntlet with Eddie Edwards, Tyson Dux, Shawn Daivari, Colt Cabana, Steve Cornino & Roderick Strong ***
    Christopher Daniels vs. Kenny Omega ***3/4
    Chris Hero & Claudio Castagnoli vs. The Briscoe (No DQ Match) ****1/4
    Tyler Black vs. Davey Richards ****3/4

    ReplyDelete
  38. Meltzer rated Black vs. Richards in the "****3/4 range" and said as good as it came off, it would probably be even better looking on DVD with better picture quality and no streaming issues.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Will does that mean he plans on re-watching it when it comes out on dvd and maybe re rating it to perhaps ***** or at least getting a better feel for where the match rates in moty contendership.

    ReplyDelete
  40. He might rewatch it but I doubt it'll be for that reason. Meltzer doesn't really pick his personal Match of the Year anyways.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Tyler Black vs Davey Richards was a great match (better than Taker vs Michaels 2 at WM 26) but it shouldn't be rated *****. It clumsy in a few parts, but I think thus far (the year isn't over) it should be the MOTY, and it deserves it's ****3/4 rating.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I'm honestly missing something if two guys can go out there put at best a "pretty good" wrestled match and get a ****3/4 rating. Im referring to HBK/Taker. The story was phenomonal no doubt but that isnt a complete substitute for wrestling. I would have given last yrs effort **** and this yrs ****1/4. As for Davey/Tyler I think it was about ****1/2. That match is kind of the opposite case with phenomonal wrestling but little story. My opinion only but i still think Tyler/Aries at 8th anniversary is MOTY so far.

    ReplyDelete
  43. any ratings for glory by honor?

    ReplyDelete
  44. He said KOW/WGTT was ****1/4 range and Aries/Daniels was ***1/2. That's the only two he rated. You can tell from these reviews that he does not like watching wrestling on a computer.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Has he mentioned Davey Richards vs Christopher Daniels at all?

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  46. doubt it bo. He doesn't review any ROH not on ppv. So i doubt he will. From what i've heard its probably a ****1/2. Lot of great ROH matches last year he didn't review.

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  47. Richards vs. Daniels hasn't been released so he couldn't have reviewed it yet.

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  48. Did Meltzer rate the DGUSA ippv?

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  49. What about the rating for Tyler Black vs. Davey Richards of 10/18/10 on HDNet?(Black's last match)

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  50. Meltzer didn't rate Black/Richards from 10/18 but Bryan gave it ****1/4.

    I'm fairly sure Meltzer hasn't seen the DGUSA PPV as there's nothing of note about it in this week's Observer. As of the show late Sunday night he definitely hadn't seen it.

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  51. Wow! why is that Dave didn't rate that match? It was a really great match. I guess if Bryan gave 4.25 Dave should be around that. I got it at ****1/2. He should rate more weekly programing matches, at least the ones that deserves it.

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  52. Does ROH have commercials? I've only watched it online so I don't know. I understand the logic of being hesitate to rate matches on RAW/Smackdown!/etc when there's a decent chunk of the match missing.

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  53. ROH have commercials but as far I can recall that match was shown without any commercial break. At least that how I remembered it.

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  54. any ratings for final battle? happy holidays!

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  55. The Observer isn't out so I don't know if Meltzer is reviewing the show but here's Bryan's ratings:

    All Night Express vs. Kyle O'Reilly & Adam Cole ***1/2
    TJ Perkins vs. Colt Cabana **1/2
    Serena Deeb & Sara Del Ray vs. Daizee Haze & Amazing Kong ***
    Sonjay Dutt vs. Eddie Edwards **3/4
    Christopher Daniels vs. Homicide **1/2
    The Kings of Wrestling & Shane Hagadorn vs. The Briscoes & Papa Briscoe ***1/4
    Roderick Strong vs. Davey Richards ****1/2
    El Generico vs. Kevin Steen (Unsanctioned Fight Without Honor) ****3/4

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  56. Meltzer:
    Kenny King & Rhett Titus vs. Adam Cole & Kyle O’Reilly ***
    Colt Cabana vs. TJ Perkins **3/4
    Sara Del Ray & Serena Deeb vs. Amazing Kong & Daizee Haze **3/4
    Eddie Edwards vs. Sonjay Dutt ***1/4
    Homicide vs. Christopher Daniels **3/4
    Mark, Jay & Papa Mike Briscoe vs. Chris Hero, Claudio Castagnoli & Shane Hagadorn ***1/2
    Roderick Strong vs. Davey Richards ****1/4
    El Generico vs. Kevin Steen (Unsanctioned Fight Without Honor) ****1/4

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  57. BRYAN JUST OVERRATED A LOT THE LAST 2 MATCHES IN FINAL BATTLE.

    BY THE WAY DOES MELTZER OR BRYAN RATE OTHER INDY SHOWS BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW PWG RATINGS SPECIALLY SEVEN

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  58. As far as non-WWE/TNA/ROH/DGUSA matches:

    Bryan rated Battle of LA this year because he went. I think he also rated Triplemania (at least the PARK/Parka match).

    I think the only think Meltzer rated that didn't fall into the four main companies was a couple of matches from the 2010 NJPW January Dome show.

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  59. dgusa ippv ratings done or not?

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  60. Bryan reviewed one show. I posted the full ratings list in the Dragon Gate section.

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  61. to early to seek 9th anniversary ratings?

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  62. Has the observer ever done a top 10 ROH matches list or anything like that. It would be interesting to see how he ranks the 5 star matches and the ****3/4 star matches

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  63. "to early to seek 9th anniversary ratings?"

    I expect Bryan to have them in Figure Four this afternoon but Meltzer I'm not so sure about. This show was the same night as UFC 127 which is obviously coming first.

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  64. Actually Vince reviewed the show in Figure Four:

    Colt Cabana vs. Davey Richards ***3/4
    Steve Corino vs. Grizzly Redwood vs. Kyle O'Reilly vs. Mike Bennett **1/2
    Michael Elgin vs. El Generico **3/4
    Roderick Strong vs. Homicide ***1/4
    Sara Del Ray vs. MsChif *3/4
    The Kings of Wrestling vs. The All Night Express ***3/4
    Eddie Edwards vs. Chris Danielson (2/3 Falls) ***1/4
    The Briscoes vs. Charlies Haas & Shelton Benjamin ***1/2

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  65. Chris Danielson lol. Wow surprised with how low the rating was for the tv title match considering ive seen just about everyone give it in the ****-****1/4 sort of range. Also surprised how high the opener rated considering what ive seen for that.

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  66. did dave rate the anniversary show?

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  67. Nope. At least not in this week's issue.

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  68. Alvarez's ratings for both ROH shows this past weekend

    Night 1
    Generico/Elgin ***
    Four Corner Survival ***1/4
    Sara Del Ray & Serena/Kurihara & Matsumoto ***1/4
    Briscoes/Kyle & Cole ***3/4
    Davey Richards/Roderick Strong ****1/2
    WGTT/KOW ****
    Eddie Edwards/Daniels ****1/4

    Night 2
    KOW/Kyle & Cole ****
    Dave Taylor/Colt Cabana *1/2
    Homicide/Tomasso Ciampa ** (although he gave it *** due to RD Evans' antics)
    Elgin/Daniels **3/4
    Daizee & Nakagawa/Matsumoto & Kurihara ***1/4
    Briscoes/All Night Express ****1/2
    El Generico/Roderick Strong ***1/4
    WGTT/American Wolves ****

    DG USA (Sunday show)
    Johnny Gargano/Jimmy Rave ***
    Six Way ***1/4
    Stalker Ichikawa/Brodie Lee NR
    Chuck Taylor/Brodie Lee **1/2
    Masato Yoshino & PAC/CIMA & Naruki Doi ****
    DCFC/Sami Callihan & Arik Cannon NR
    Austin Aries/Jimmy Jacobs ***1/2
    YAMATO/Akira Tozawa ****1/2

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  69. Maybe somebody's still interested

    Honor Takes Center Stage d1
    Elgin/Generico ***
    Homicide/Konley/Cabana/Ciampa ***1/4
    Kurihara & Matsumoto / Del Ray & Serena ***1/4
    Briscoes / Cole & O'Reilly ***3/4
    Richards / Strong ****1/4
    WGTT / Kings **** (TT titles)
    Edwards / Daniels ****1/4 (world title)

    Honor Takes Center Stage d2
    Kings / Cole & O'Reilly ****
    Cabana / Dave Taylor *1/2
    Ciampa / Homicide **
    Daniels / Elgin NR (? rating wasn't listed)
    Haze & Tomoka Nakagawa / Kurihara & Matsumoto ***1/4 (SHIMMER TT Titles)
    Briscoes / ANX ****1/2
    Generico / Strong ***1/4
    WGTT / Wolves ****

    credit: profightdb

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  70. Those ratings are from Figure Four, not the Observer.

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  71. ratings for BITW?

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  72. Meltzer only rated the following:
    El Generico vs. Christopher Daniels "*** range"
    Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjmain vs. Mark & Jay Briscoe vs. Rhett Titus & Kenny King vs. Claudio Castagnoli (Elimination Match) "probably a ****1/4 match"
    Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards ****3/4

    Bryan:
    Colt Cabana vs. Tommaso Ciampa "As noted, I missed about half of this. Good basic opening match."
    Jay Lethal vs. Mike Bennett **
    Homicide vs. Rhino **3/4
    Michael Elgin vs. Steve Corino NR?
    Christopher Daniels vs. El Generico ***3/4
    Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin vs. The King of Wrestling vs. The Briscoes vs. The All Night Express (Elimination Match) ****
    Eddie Edwards vs. Davey Richards ****3/4

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  73. Only Bryan rated the show (Meltzer ran Bryan's report in the Observer):

    Tommaso Ciampa & Rhino vs. Homicide & Jay Lethal **1/4
    Shelton Benjamin vs. Mike Bennett **1/2
    The Young Bucks vs. The Bravado Brothers vs. Future Shock ***1/2
    El Generico vs. Jimmy Jacobs NR
    Charlie Haas vs. Michael Elgin ***
    Roderick Strong vs. Eddie Edwards (Ringmaster Challenge) ****1/4
    Rhett Titus & Kenny King vs. The Briscoes (Ladder War) ****

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  74. The 10/8 TV match with Davey Richards vs. Roderick Strong was given ***3/4 by Meltzer.

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  75. Final Battle ratings?

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  76. Meltzer:

    Michael Elgin vs. T.J. Perkins **3/4
    Tommaso Ciampa vs. Jimmy Rave *3/4
    Jay Lethal vs. Mike Bennett vs. El Generico (Elimination Match) ***1/4
    Kevin Steen vs. Steve Corino (No DQ Match) ***3/4
    Cedric Alexander & Caprice Coleman vs. Harlem & Lancelot Bravado vs. Adam Cole & Kyle O'Reilly vs. Matt & Nick Jackson vs. Kenny King & Rhett Titus (Gauntlet Match) NR?
    Roderick Strong vs. Chris Hero **1/4
    Mark & Jay Briscoe vs. Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin ***1/4
    Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards ****

    Bryan:
    Michael Elgin vs. TJ Perkins **
    Tomasso Ciampa vs. Jimmy Rave **
    Jay Lethal vs. El Generico vs. Mike Bennett (Elimination Match) ***1/4
    Kevin Steen vs. Steve Corino (No DQ Match) NR?
    Cedric Alexander & Caprice Coleman vs. Bravado Brothers vs. Adam Cole & Kyle O'Reilly vs. The Young Bucks vs. All Night Express (Gauntlet Match) ***
    Roderick Strong vs. Chris Hero ***1/4
    Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin vs. The Briscoes NR?
    Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards ****1/2

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  77. From the 3/12 Observer, I believe this is Meltzer's ratings though it could be Alvarez's.

    Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas vs. Kenny King & Rhett Titus - NR?
    Mike Bennett vs. Homicide **1/4
    Roderick Strong & Michael Elgin vs. Amazing Red & TJ Perkins ***
    Jay Lethal vs. Tommaso Ciampa ***1/4
    Jay Briscoe & Mark Briscoe vs. Young Bucks ***
    Kevin Steen vs. Jimmy Jacobs (No DQ Match) ***1/4
    Eddie Edwards & Adam Cole vs. Davey Richards & Kyle O'Reilly ***3/4

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  78. Rumor is that Meltzer gave Davey/Elgin *****

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  79. That rumor is true. Anyway, Dave ratings for ROH 3/31:

    Jacobs vs Genérico ***
    Ciampa vs Alexander *1/2
    Perkins vs Fire Ant **1/4
    O'Reilly vs Cole NR?
    Young Bucks vs All Night Express NR?
    Briscoes vs Benjamin & Haas **3/4
    Steen vs Edwards ***1/4
    Strong vs Lethal ***1/4
    Davey vs Elgin *****

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Any idea about Bryan's ratings (especially Davey/Elgin) for the ROH show on 3/31?

      Delete
    2. Also, did either Bryan or Dave rate Steen/Generico from 3/30?

      Delete
    3. Bryan also gave ***** to Davey vs Elgin.

      Delete
  80. Bryan gave Steen/Generico ****1/4

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  81. Border Wars ratings?

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  82. Border Wars ratings?????????

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  83. Border Wars ratings, please!!!!

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  84. ROH Best in the World ratings?

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  85. Glory by Honor ratings?

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  86. Glory By Honor XI Ratings
    Caprice Coleman & Cedric Alexander/Lancelot & Harlem Bravado ***
    Mike Bennett/Mike Mondo ***
    Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas/BJ Whitmer & Rhett Titus ***1/4
    Jay Lethal/Davey Richards ****1/2
    Tadarius Thomas/Rhino *1/4
    Adam Cole/Eddie Edwards ***1/2
    Steve Corino & Jimmy Jacobs/Jay Briscoe & Mark Briscoe ***1/2
    Michael Elgin/Kevin Steen ****1/2

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  87. the glory by honor xi ratings its by the observer?

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  88. Final Battle ratings?

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  89. Final Battle ratings?

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  90. Final Battle ratings please?

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  91. Meltzer's ROH Final Battle 2012 Ratings

    Strong/Elgin ***1/4
    WGTT/Whitmer & Titus ***1/2
    American Wolves/Fish & O'Reilly ***1/2
    Hardy/Cole ***1/4
    Steen/Generico ****

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  92. Meltzer's ROH 11th Anniversary Show Ratings

    Six Man Mayhem Match ***1/2
    SCUM/C&C ***1/4
    Whitmer/Haas ***3/4
    American Wolves/Forever Hooligans ****1/4
    Elgin/Strong ***1/4
    Taven/Cole ***1/4
    reDRagon/Briscoes ****
    Steen/Lethal ****

    ReplyDelete
  93. Supercard of Honor ratings??

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  94. ACH & Tadarius Thomas vs Q. T. Marshall & R. D. Evans ***
    Mike Bennett vs Shelton Benjamin **½
    Michael Elgin vs Jay Lethal ****
    SCUM (Cliff Compton & Jimmy Jacobs & Jimmy Rave & Rhett Titus & Rhino) vs B. J. Whitmer & Caprice Coleman & Cedric Alexander & Mark Briscoe & Mike Mondo ***½
    Karl Anderson vs Roderick Strong ***½
    Matt Taven vs Adam Cole vs Matt Hardy **½
    reDRagon (Bobby Fish & Kyle O'Reilly) vs American Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) ****½
    Kevin Steen vs Jay Briscoe ***½

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  95. Border Wars ratings?

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  96. Border Wars iPPV ratings??

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  97. ROH Border Wars star ratings?

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  98. ROH Border Wars ratings??

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  99. Border War star ratings??????

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  100. ROH Best in the World ratings???????

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  101. Best in the World ratings?

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  102. ROH All Star Extravaganza ratings?

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  103. Supercard of Honor VIII ratings?

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  104. My biggest problem with this series is the stupid and predicable order the songs would play in!
    All the rap songs at the beginning, all the pop songs in the middle, and all the rock songs at the end etc.

    Here's a comp I saw on Youtube one time before:
    1. Air Man theme from Mega Man 2
    2. Tears for Fears - Break it Down Again
    3. Pharaoh Man theme from Mega Man 4
    4. Curt Smith - Calling Out
    5. Spring Stadium Zone Act 1 from the Saturn version of Sonic 3d Blast
    6. Gemini Man theme from Mega Man 3
    7. The Spice Girls - Move Over
    8. Seatbelts - Fe
    9. Drill Man theme from Mega Man 4
    10. The Pirates of Dark Water theme
    11. Young Robin Hood theme
    12. Charge Man theme from Mega Man 5
    13. The Human League - Mirror Man
    14. Magnet Man theme from Mega Man 3
    15. The Supremes - My World is Empty Without You
    16. Elec Man theme from Mega Man 1
    17. Spandau Ballet - Foundation
    18. Wild Orchid - Make it Easy for Me
    19. Knight Man theme from Mega Man 6
    20. Spring Stadium Zone Act 2 from the Saturn version of Sonic 3d Blast
    21. Huey Lewis and the News - But, It's Alright
    22. Morph Moth theme from Mega Man X2
    23. Laura Branigan - Take Me
    24. Web Spider theme from Mega Man X4
    25. Kenny Loggins - Footloose
    26. Frost Walrus theme 1 from Mega Man X4
    27. Amy Holland - She's on Fire
    28. Flame Mammoth theme from Mega Man X1
    29. David Benoit and Russ Freeman - After the Love is Gone
    30. Wire Sponge theme from Mega Man X2
    31. ABC - Overture

    The idiots at Now would have probably gone something like this:
    1. The Spice Girls - Move Over
    2. Wild Orchid - Make it Easy for Me
    3. Curt Smith - Calling Out
    4. Tears for Fears - Break it Down Again
    5. Spandau Ballet - Foundation
    6. The Human League - Mirror Man
    7. Amy Holland - She's on Fire
    8. Kenny Loggins - Footloose
    9. Laura Branigan - Take Me
    10. ABC - Overture
    11. David Benoit and Russ Freeman - After the Love is Gone
    12. Seatbelts - Fe
    13. Spring Stadium Zone Act 1 from the Saturn version of Sonic 3d Blast
    14. Spring Stadium Zone Act 2 from the Saturn version of Sonic 3d Blast
    15. Elec Man theme from Mega Man 1
    16. Air Man theme from Mega Man 2
    17. Magnet Man theme from Mega Man 3
    18. Gemini Man theme from Mega Man 3
    19. Pharaoh Man theme from Mega Man 4
    20. Drill Man theme from Mega Man 4
    21. Charge Man theme from Mega Man 5
    22. Knight Man theme from Mega Man 6
    23. Flame Mammoth theme from Mega Man X1
    24. Morph Moth theme from Mega Man X2
    25. Wire Sponge theme from Mega Man X2
    26. Frost Walrus theme 1 from Mega Man X4
    27. Web Spider theme from Mega Man X4
    28. Young Robin Hood theme
    29. The Pirates of Dark Water theme
    30. Huey Lewis and the News - But, It's Alright
    31. The Supremes - My World is Empty Without You

    Even you gotta admit that putting a song by say, Creed in-between The Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears to be far more interesting than Britney back-to-back with the Boys, which happened on at least THREE occasions!

    ReplyDelete
  105. The SmarK NoDQ Action Zone Rant - March 25 20XX

    – Live from Incarnate Word.

    – Your hosts are JC, Jim Cornette & Bobby Spade, who both appear to have afros. Huh. Funny how I never noticed that until now.

    – Aaron Rift (who also has an afro) lays out the rules of the draft.

    – Opening match: Baseball vs. Baseball Bat. Babe Ruth appears to be doing color commentary. I thought he was dead? And since when do sports equipment fight on the Action Zone? Anyway, they kind of mash together in the center of the ring for a couple of minutes before the match is called due to a heavy flood of rain at 1:53. DUD Amazingly, despite the arena being flooded, the show still goes on. Geez, can’t NoDQ ever adhere to their own stipulations?

    – Meanwhile, Wade Needham & Shadow Man plot out their draft picks. Shadow seems to have a gray ninja suit on and is wearing sandals. Huh. Allan Caesar also plots things out in his room, and he seems to be wearing a "Paul Bearer" t-shirt. Weird.

    – Caesar comes out for his first pick, and stops to give out some money to the people in the front row first. He appears to be carrying a sheet of paper marked “Booking Ideas from People That Are Not Me – Highest Priority”. His #1 draft pick: Victoria Jackson. Wow, didn’t see that coming. A little screen follows showing her vitals and a little note saying “Absolutely not a bimbo.” Allan reminds Victoria that he won’t stand for any cheating or non-scientific wrestling holds in his promotion, and of course Victoria agrees. The crowd starts a new chant for Allan: “You are a nice guy.” Well, this is weird.

    – And now it’s time for Needham’s #1 pick, as he counters with: Sodom Katana Larry Kruteck. I thought he was dead? Man this is a weird show.

    – Meanwhile, Turkish Oil Wrestling Gold Medalist Lynn Loud Jr. is upset with Allan for not picking her #1.

    – General George Patton & Brock Samson vs. Brian & Tabitha. Well, this one had potential but degenerated fast, as Brian & Tabitha spent the whole match making out in the ring, while Patton went insane and started killing fans at ringside and swearing about a conspiracy hatched by Dwight D. Eisenhower. Samson wins by forfeit at 2:09, but his mullet turns on him and demands a match at Deadly Sin. Who booked this shit? *

    – Meanwhile, Loud reads off all the gold medals she won in Turkish oil wrestling from 1908 until the 2002 Winter Olympics (even though there’s not actually any Turkish oil wrestling in the Olympics), so Allan capitulates and makes her his #2 pick.

    – Needham is out for pick #2: Sam, Clover and Alex – The Totally Spies. Three gals with one pick?

    – Allan is upset at that development (and who wouldn’t be?) so he counters in bold fashion – with Tim Scam as his #3 pick. Loud admires the strategy – this way, the Totally Spies will NEVER find Scam. This IS just like a game of chess.

    – Meanwhile, the Totally Spies confront Needham and ask him if he knows where Tim Scam got to. Nope, but he does know that his #3 pick is the Spider himself – Neil Giraldo! I thought he was fucking Pat Benatar? Man, this is the worst roster ever.

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  106. – Grand Theft Auto vs. Sesame Street. GTA is squashing Sesame all the way, until Sesame suddenly calls for a Censorship War and Joe Lieberman comes down to smite GTA at 2:40. I hate deus ex machina endings.

    – Allan makes his #4 selection: “Kell-El” Superman X.

    – Needham’s up with his #4 selection: John Lennon. It seems to be the young, leather clad Lennon, too. Apparently the bookers are getting so arrogant that they think they can just flaunt the laws of physics and not get called on it. Where’s Babe Ruth when you need him? Oh, yeah, he died in the first match.

    – Allan’s #5 selection: The Hilton Sisters. Since when are they the tag team champions? Man, I must have missed a house show update or something. It seems weird that the NoDQ CAW champion can jump from show to show but the tag champs are drafted, but then I’m still trying to wrap my head around the arena being flooded in the first match.

    – Data East vs. Capcom. This was mainly their lawyers arguing the rules before an appeals judge for 5 minutes, until the whole thing was distracted by a riot in the stands and the whole thing ended up as a double-DQ at 5:06. What a pathetic infringement of another terrible match. -*

    – Meanwhile, Allan & Needham get in each other’s faces. Needham takes Allen Gregory, so Allan counters with Ultra-Humanite. Now it gets serious, as Needham takes Tina Armstrong, and Allan counters with Tornado Tonion. Needham seems upset at himself for missing that last one. Man, ACWL is obviously getting the A-list talent here.

    – Eric Cartman vs. Kyle Broflovski. Stan Marsh is special guest referee, trying to maintain order. Kyle tries to wrestle a scientific match, but Eric keeps pulling a foreign object out of his tights until finally Stan calls for the DQ at 1:50. Cartman snaps and beats the crap out of both of them. It turns out that the object was just a dreidel.

    – Meanwhile, Allan does the unthinkable, taking Mina, after Needham took Rina. The KenJu Clowns, split up? Could this be the end of KenJumania?

    – Barney the Dinosaur vs. Freddy Krueger. Mark Evanier is YOUR special referee. Peggy Charren is doing color commentary. Freddy is laying a beating on Barney, but Evanier keeps yelling at Charren about how she’s a cunt. Charren takes a swing at Evanier with a steel chair, hits Krueger by mistake, and Barney gets the pin at 1:23. DUD

    – Allan comes out for his #9 selection, with which he picks that hot new sensation, Rothion the weapons dealer, and his manager Kris Houghton. Needham reminds him that it’s HIS pick, so HE takes Rothion, and Kris seems to be looking more like Bruce Jenner. This is like a bad acid trip. So Allan instead takes The World’s Biggest Menace, Dennis Menace, Jr. An enraged Needham counters with Silene Rambert and her Power of Kicking People below the Belt. Allan takes British pony sensation Rainbow Dash, and Needham’s final pick is Mog the Moogle. And he has an afro. Worst Draft Ever.

    – Did I mention that I love Jade Jones and think that Zatoichi-Incredible Hulk was a ****1/2 classic?

    What the hell is going on? A nice Allan Caesar? Bizarre matches? Afros everywhere? Oh no…I’m trapped in the MIRROR UNIVERSE!

    ReplyDelete